The Gift of Solitude

If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.   Psalm 139:8b

     It's good to have some time alone every now and again.  During summer and Christmas breaks over the past few years, I've had opportunities (sometimes wanted, sometimes unwanted) to be in solitude.  I come from a small town in Alabama that many people leave when they get older.  There are not many job openings that bring people back to settle down in our area, nor are there a whole lot of public works or famous attractions.  There's just a sky in which you can see the stars clearer than any other place I know; there's lots of open space and livestock; there's family, football, hard-working people, and plenty of room for imagination.

     It seems like the number of friends who have moved away continues to increase as time passes.  I guess that tends to happen when people finish school, get jobs, and start new families.  It often makes me feel like I'm in a strange place when I'm staying with my folks.  Sometimes I feel like an outsider, even though I know this is where my family is and where I grew up.  For me, it's a good place to go when I want to be alone for a while.

     I never really considered extended times of solitude to be a gift until I read Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline.  In the book, Foster enumerates solitude as an intentional spiritual discipline that can open people up to God's grace.  Since the current rhythm of my life has some space for it, I thought I'd share how it's gone for me.  In my own experience, solitude is a very humbling thing.  It shows me that many of the different spheres of my life (school, church, friend groups, family) can get along just fine without me.  It brings me face-to-face with my own smallness, usually dashing some form of my egocentricity against the rocks of reality, or revealing to me just how insignificant things are that I thought were vitally important.

     It's also a good discipline to practice for meeting with God.  I think of Jacob, who wrestled with God all night at Peniel (Genesis 32:22-32), of Moses, who had several one-on-one encounters with God (Exodus 3:1-4:17; 19:3-6; 20:18-21), of Elijah, who ran away to die in failure, yet then traveled forty days to meet with God on Sinai (1 Kings 19), and of Jesus, who "often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:16).  Jesus spent some time in solitary prayer before doing things like selecting the twelves apostles (Luke 6:12-16), walking across a lake in the middle of a storm (Matthew 14:22-25), and going to willfully give his life for a sinful world (Mark 14:32-42).  There have been some times of individual prayer in which God has met me powerfully.  Other times it feels like it takes all of me to keep faith alive and let loose shaky prayers.  I think I've learned from both kinds of experiences.

     Solitude can also be useful for subduing the noise that accompanies our lives.  When we disconnect from the hurried whirl of computer screens, road signs, appointments, and responsibilities, we regain the ability to focus and listen.  We make time for encountering mystery, like the immeasurable mystery of God and the mysteries of who we are ourselves.  We can rest in who Christ is and what He has done.  We can evaluate the trajectory of our life and take our emotional pulse.  We can seek God's direction over what we should next do in life and get his evaluation of our recent undertakings.  We can heal from the new hurts we've accumulated as well as the old scars and weaknesses that perennially haunt us.  We can journal, draw, meditate, and explore.  It creates space for us to simply be.

     I've found that solitude really can be useful for extended periods of time, but I also believe it reveals to us that we are not meant to be alone.  It can be good for seeking God, decompressing, getting clarity, and healing, but ultimately time alone is meant to prepare us to be more fully engaged in community.  If solitude is long-term, it can be stifling and depressing.  Go watch Into the Wild if you want a good illustration on how isolation debilitates.  

     Solitude should free us to be more present to the people we encounter each day.  It should give us fresh purpose and vigor as we make decisions in life.  It should renew the capacity within us to show love to the people who are in our lives.  I think the healthy practice of solitude is a great tool that God can use in us.

     Do you need to practice solitude?  This time of year often can free up some time for us to take a mini-retreat with God.  I'd encourage you to do so.